So what does PTSD mean to me...

Post traumatic stress disorder to me, means nothing, but after talking to one doctor I now know that what i thought was just things i had to deal with are actually PTSD. You may ask what the heck am i going on about??

Since the accident I have struggled to go back to being me. I believe that I will never be the old Leanne, the accident changed me. What do you expect?? This like that do change you! 

Directly after the accident I suffered with terrible nightmares and flashbacks, constantly, every time I closed my eyes I was hitting the lorry over and over again. Suck in that bloody car with that smell!! I just kept telling myself that I would get over it, they would stop, but they still haven't! 

When i am travelling I struggle the most, especially in a car. Its hard to explain but at first everything was going to cause an accident. I hated going anywhere I would panic, and the nightmares would get worse. So i decided to to learn to drive myself and then at least I would be in control. So i got a car passed my test and was in control of the car. But this didn't stop the nightmares, oh no! Yes I traveled better in a car as a passenger, but I still panicked, I still panic to this day. 

When I see a lorry or blue flashing lights my heart starts to race, I get a flashback and I can smell the accident all over again. I was starting to think that I would never be a normal person again but then I meet a doctor who explained EVERYTHING to me.

He told me that I did have PTSD and explained to me what that meant.....

Your brain thinks your in Afghanistan constantly and not Widnes! So every time my body reacts differently. which means when I start to panic my adrenaline starts pumping, instead off just ignoring it. 

PTSD really does effect my day to day life more than normal but that is for next time....